June 9, 2015 / in General Information, Personal / by Mic Johnson
Hi there, it’s Mic here. I’ve been thinking about the following topic for quite some time. Inspiration hit recently and the following post flowed out of during yet another rainy Sunday morning in Kansas City. I’d love to hear your perspective as it relates to your own life experiences. As always, thanks for your continued support of Blue Gurus. We appreciate it more than you’ll ever know.
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I’m fascinated (and, in some instances, deeply saddened and disturbed) by how often one’s happiness, confidence and self-worth are so closely intertwined with one’s career and financial situation.
I routinely hear about people who are miserable, lost and defeated by their career and financial situation. Anxiety, fear, uncertainty and depression are their bedfellows. I also routinely hear about people who are happy and confident (and, in some cases, overconfident) by their career and financial situation. Optimism, hope and security are their bedfellows.
Ironically, in many cases, those are snapshots of the same people (myself included)—just at different times in their lives.
The illusion of course is that any situation or level of happiness or unhappiness is permanent….though it most certainly often feels that way when you’re in the moment.
That is coupled with the illusion that we’re entirely in control of our career and financial destiny. Many people like to believe that everything they’ve accomplished has been solely through their own hard work. While hard work is definitely important, the reality is that luck, timing, opportunity, courage, risk tolerance, socioeconomic status and countless other circumstances all factor into the ever-evolving equation.
No one has it all figured out. As the saying goes, “Man makes plans…and God laughs.” It’s never as good as you think it is and it’s never as bad as you think it is. Life pulls us in all different directions…sometimes in the same day. The happiest people make a conscious effort to keep perspective and remain humble no matter where life takes them.
If I’ve learned anything throughout my life, it’s this:
Life is like a roller coaster. All we have to do is hold on.
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Ken Bramble
Employee Benefits Practice Leader at Truss LLC
Hi Mic! While I don’t believe I’m one of the unhappy and sad people you speak of, I am in the middle of a somewhat frustrating job search that isn’t getting the results as quickly as I’d like. Recently I was given some pretty gut blowing feedback about why I was not chosen for a particular opportunity I was really interested in. The interviewers shared with me that I was what they were looking for, so I was very confused. While their feedback seemed completely unfounded, I felt bad about it for weeks. Apparently, it turns out they had confused me with someone else and that I’m a candidate for their final round of interviews. This should be great news, yet somehow now I have this conflicting feeling because I spent weeks wondering where it went wrong and what I could have done differently… and now I’m finding out that feedback was not about me at all. My self-confidence, while I believed they were wrong about me and my skills, took a hit. I allowed someone else to control my feelings. I hope this situation and the self-awareness I’ve gained will help me through future potential similar situations and learn to take unfounded feedback “with a grain of salt” as I continue to interview. Feedback is great, it helps you grow. So when feedback seems completely opposite of what you truly believe about yourself, I need to let it go and keep trudging forward, because I believe in myself.
Jen,
Thanks for reading and commenting. You wouldn’t believe how many people I see and talk to on a regular basis about career things…so don’t take this post personally either. :)
Glad to hear the company made a mistake and you’re still in the running….and, more importantly, that you’ve learned a valuable lesson through the process….even if it was the hard way.